Wednesday, February 03, 2010

5th Annual Golden Gallo Awards

Wow how time flies! I can't believe it's already time for the 5th annual Golden Gallo Awards. It seems like only yesterday I was awarding Tom Cruise the Best Performance by a Scientologist Award for "War of the Worlds." What about them Oscar noms huh? And what about those Razzies? I'm thinking Sandra Bullock can pull off 2 for 2. But while we ponder that take a look at this years list of Golden Gallo winners. Congrats to all!

Best Revamping of a Dying Franchise: STAR TREK

Worst Revamping of a Dying Franchise: TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Worst Performance by a Scientologist: John Travolta, OLD DOGS

Most Disturbing Domestic Quarrel: ANTICHRIST

The “What the Heck Were They Thinking” Award: HALLOWEEN II

Best Opening Title Sequence: WATCHMEN

Best Closing Credit Sequence: THE HANGOVER

Film Least Deserving of an Award, Even a Golden Gallo: GI JOE THE RISE OF COBRA

Scene Stealer Award: Christoph Waltz, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Movie Most Likely to Cause Nightmares (in a good way): PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Movie Most Likely to Cause Nightmares (in a bad way): TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

The Trailer is Better than the Movie Award: THE LOVELY BONES

Least Obnoxious Child Performance: Max Records, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

Most Obnoxious Child Performance: Jae Head, THE BLIND SIDE

Most Gratuitous Use of Bathing Suits: A PERFECT GETAWAY

Best Film Most Likely to be Forgotten by the Academy: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER

The “Or How I Learned to Love a Bomb” Guilty Pleasure Award: THE BOX

The Grease 2 Unnecessary Sequel Award: HALLOWEEN II

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It Award: FRIDAY THE 13TH

The Jaws 3D “I Only Wanted to See It Cause it Was in 3-D” Award: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D

Coolest Movie Poster Award: TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Best Gunshot to the Head in a Musical or Comedy: A SERIOUS MAN

Best Apartheid Metaphor in a Science-Fiction Film: DISTRICT 9
The Don’t You Forget About Me “This Came Out This Year??” Award: I LOVE YOU MAN

The Ishtar Big-Budget Stinker Award: NINE

Film Most Likely to Cause Insomnia: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Film Most Likely to Cause Narcolepsy: THE ROAD

Best Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ AVATAR

Worst Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ GI JOE THE RISE OF COBRA

Best Prop: The rusty scissors in ANTICHRIST

Worst Hairdo: Jonathan Groff, TAKING WOODSTOCK

Best Use of the McGuffin in a Hollywood Blockbuster – The anti-matter in ANGELS & DEMONS
Best Comeback from a Previously Horrid Attempt at Filmmaking – Zack Snyder, WATCHMEN

The “I Did Everything for this Movie” Award: James Cameron, AVATAR

The Michael Bay Total Destruction Honorary Special Achievement Award: 2012

The Golden Gallo Best Film of the Decade Award: ERIN BROCKOVICH

The Golden Gallo Worst Film of the Decade Award: LADY IN THE WATER


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