Saturday, February 23, 2013

The 8th Annual Golden Gallo Awards

In honor of tomorrow's Academy Awards, it's time to reveal my own pointless movie awards. Congratulations to all the winners!

Best Performance by a Scientologist in a Musical or Comedy: Tom Cruise, ROCK OF AGES

Best Fight with a Teddy Bear in a Musical or Comedy: TED

The “What the Heck Were They Thinking” Award: THAT’S MY BOY

Best Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Worst Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING

Best Revamping of a Dying Franchise: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

Best Ending to a Seemingly Endless Franchise: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Best Opening Title Sequence: SKYFALL

Best Closing Credit Sequence: 21 JUMP STREET

Best Reason Not to Work in the Fast Food Industry: COMPLIANCE

The “Wear a Rubber” Best Makeup Award: HITCHCOCK

The “Wear a Rubber” Worst Makeup Award: PROMETHEUS

Film Least Deserving of an Award, Even a Golden Gallo: PIRANHA 3DD

Scene Stealer Award: Anne Hathaway, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

The Jaws 3D “I Only Wanted to See It Cause it Was in 3-D” Award: BAIT 3D

The “I Was in Every Single Movie Made This Year” Overachiever Award: CHANNING TATUM

Best Chemistry: Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill, 21 JUMP STREET

Worst Chemistry: Daniel Day-Lewis & Sally Field: LINCOLN

The Trailer is Better than the Movie Award: PREMIUM RUSH

Movie Most Likely to Cause Nightmares (in a good way): SINISTER

The Slumdog Millionaire Why-Don’t-I-Like-This-Movie? Award: THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

Best Use of the MacGuffin in a Bike Messenger Thriller: PREMIUM RUSH

The Ishtar Big-Budget Stinker Award: JOHN CARTER

Most Gratuitous Use of Bathing Suits: PIRANHA 3DD

Best Film Most Likely to be Forgotten by the Academy: LOOPER

Most Insulting Tribute to the Horror Genre: THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

Least Insulting Tribute to the Horror Genre: PARANORMAN

The “Or How I Learned to Love a Bomb” Guilty Pleasure Award: ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER

The Grease 2 Unnecessary Sequel Award: MEN IN BLACK 3

The Come on People It’s Not That Bad Award: DARK SHADOWS

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It Award: TOTAL RECALL

The Don’t You Forget About Me “This Came Out This Year??” Award: THE HUNGER GAMES

Coolest Movie Poster Award: LOOPER

Best Prop: The fried chicken drumstick, KILLER JOE

Worst Hairdo: Tommy Lee Jones, LINCOLN

Best Reason Not to Go to Thailand:  THE IMPOSSIBLE

Best Reason Not to Get Old: AMOUR

Best Attempt to Win an Oscar by Playing a Stripper: Matthew McConaughey, MAGIC MIKE

Best Comeback from a Previously Horrid Attempt at Filmmaking: Ridley Scott, PROMETHEUS


Anonymous said...

Awesome issues here. I'm very happy to peer your article.
Thank you so much and I'm looking ahead to touch you. Will you
please drop me a mail?

my web blog; packers and movers

Anonymous said...

Ԝhat's up, just ԝanted tօ saʏ, I loved tɦiѕ article.
Іt ѡas practical. Keep on posting!

Alsߋ visit my webpage - sportsbet

小 Gg said...

tods shoes,tods shoes sale,tods sale,tods outlet online,tods outlet store,tods factory outlet
canada goose sale
ugg uk outlet
nike shoes
north face jackets,north face,the north face,northface,north face outlet,north face jackets clearance,the north face
cheap jordans
oakley sunglasses cheap
denver broncos
cheap ugg boots
coach outlet online,coach purses,coach handbags,coach bags,coach handbags sale,coach handbags outlet
coach outlet,coach outlet online,coach outlet store
hermes outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet store
ugg outlet store
canada goose jackets
nike air max 2014
true religion outlet,true religion jeans,true religion kids,true religion jeans sale,true religion jeans for men,true religion jacket,true religion sale
michael kors,michael kors canada,michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet canada
ghd hair straighteners
michael kors outlet store

mmjiaxin said...

air max 90
prada outlet
chanel outlet store
louis vuitton handbags
kobe shoes
rolex watches
hollister uk
fitflops outlet sale
north face outlet
nhl jerseys
moncler outlet
canada goose outelt
coach outlet store
ghd uk
mulberry outlet store
air jordan shoes for sale
toms outlet
longchamp handbags
michael kors outlet
hermes outlet store

方松腾 said...

tory burch sandals
lululemon outlet
coach outlet store
louis vuitton outlet store
ed hardy outlet
louis vuitton handbags outlet store
ugg boots
cheap oakley sunglasses
true religion sale
air jordan 11 free shipping
toms outlet
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors
north face jackets
ferragamo shoes
soccer jerseys,soccer jerseys wholesale,soccer jerseys cheap,soccer jerseys for sale,cheap soccer jersey,usa soccer jersey,football jerseys

adidas nmd said...

ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet online
cheap nike shoes
air max 90
pandora jewelry
ugg boots
ralph lauren
longchamp outlet
ugg boots
nike air force 1

Hualala said...

Air Jordan
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Kyrie Irving Shoes
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Pandora Jewelry
Jordan Retro 9
Pandora Jewelry Outlet
Air Max 270
Jordan 9

Bilibili said...

Yeezy boost
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Air Jordan 4 Retro
Red Bottom Shoes
Kyrie Irving Shoes
Jordan Retro
Jordans 11
Kyrie Shoes
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Jordan 11

Bilibili said...

Kyrie Irving Shoes
Air Jordan Retro 9
Nike Air Max 270
Jordan Retro
Pandora Jewelry
Jordan 11 For Sale
Air Jordan 4 Retro
Pandora Jewelry
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Kyrie Irving Shoes