Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The 6th Annual Golden Gallo Awards

Holy crap, it's the 6th Annual Golden Gallo Awards! My how time flies around here. Congrats to the Razzie Nominees and The Oscar Nominees (The King's Speech Best Sound, really Academy?) and now the movie awards to end all movie awards the Golden Gallos. Piranaha 3D is the big winner this year with 3 awards total. Congratulations to all of the winners!

Best Revamping of a Dying Franchise: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

Worst Attempt to End a Franchise: SAW 3D

Best Performance by a Scientologist: Tom Cruise, KNIGHT & DAY

Most Realistic Domestic Quarrel: BLUE VALENTINE

The “What the Heck Were They Thinking” Award: MY SOUL TO TAKE

Best Opening Title Sequence: BURIED

Best Closing Credit Sequence: THE OTHER GUYS

Best Performance by a Wax Figure in a Fiction Film: Cher, BURLESQUE

Best Performance by a Wax Figure in a Non-Fiction Film: Joan Rivers, JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK

Film Least Deserving of an Award, Even a Golden Gallo: SKYLINE

Scene Stealer Award: Kieran Culkin, SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

Movie Most Likely to Cause Nightmares (in a good way): PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

Movie Most Likely to Cause Nightmares (in a bad way): MY SOUL TO TAKE

The Slumdog Millionaire Why-Don’t-I-Like-This-Movie? Award: KICK-ASS

The Trailer is Better than the Movie Award: YOU AGAIN

Least Obnoxious Child Performance: Chloe Moretz, KICK-ASS

Most Obnoxious Child Performance: Noah Ringer, THE LAST AIRBENDER

Most Gratuitous Use of Bathing Suits: PIRANHA 3D

Best Film Most Likely to be Forgotten by the Academy: CONVICTION

The “Or How I Learned to Love a Bomb” Guilty Pleasure Award: PIRANHA 3D

The Grease 2 Unnecessary Sequel Award: SAW 3D

The Music Score is Better Than the Movie: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Best Performance By a Human Centipede: Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie and Akihiro Kitamura, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE

The Jaws 3D “I Only Wanted to See It Cause it Was in 3-D” Award: STEP UP 3D

The Come On People It’s Not That Bad Award: BURLESQUE

Best Use of a VCR as a Weapon: DOGTOOTH
The Don’t You Forget About Me “This Came Out This Year??” Award: SHUTTER ISLAND

The Ishtar Big-Budget Stinker Award: THE LAST AIRBENDER
Coolest Movie Poster Award: 127 HOURS

Best Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ THE TOWN

Worst Film with a Cast Member of TV’s ‘Lost:’ ROBIN HOOD

Best Prop: Cobb’s spinning totem in INCEPTION

Best Use of the McGuffin in an Action Comedy: the flashdrive in DATE NIGHT

Best Comeback from a Previously Horrid Attempt at Filmmaking: Tony Scott, UNSTOPPABLE

Best Self-Amputation in a Drama: 127 Hours

Worst Hairdo: Melissa Leo, THE FIGHTER

The “I Did Everything for this Movie” Award: Tom Six, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE